Ah, for the days when such stories were still possible. From the Skidmore Standard, May 4, 1900, page 4:
A Paris Girl
This happened at a Paris, Mo., social function, recently according to the Mercury:
Refreshments had been passed around and a young man, holding his coffee with one hand and eating with the other, was making a desperate struggle to combine his knees and the chair rounds into a safe resting place for his napkin and plate. Finally giving up in despair and turning to his young lady dinner partner, he said, “Girls have the advantage over us in a hand out. A man’s lap is the poorest excuse on earth. Nothing will sit on it.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she answered. “I had always heard that they were delightful.” On his way home two hours later he grasped her meaning and turning to a masculine friend insisted that the latter kick him for a block or two.